Next chapter: we’re moving!

Almost nine years ago to the day, I wrote something a la —

When a couple says “We have news…”, it’s usually 

They’re engaged.
They’re pregnant.
One of ‘em has a new job.
They’re moving.

We have news —
Check.
No thank you.
Same ol’, same ol.
Surprise!

Nine years ago, we moved Roscoe Village to Wicker Park. It felt gargantuan. The three miles felt gargantuan.

This is gargantuan.

We’re moving; moving-moving. So, surprise! But also not.

We’ve been long-term ensconced in moving-talk.

Resulting in a Tribune column and an NPR Morning Show guest spot, I penned “Words I never thought I’d say: is it time for me to leave Chicago?” — eleven years ago. Eleven!

We took advantage of the pandemic’s work from home’ness for Best Friend and in 2021, practiced living elsewhere, to see Could we?!

We travel extensively, having just completed our US quest with state fifty (Alaska!) and too many international jaunts to list; every time we travel, Could we?! chatter and neighborhood peeping ensue.

I used to brunch and club; now I Redfin.

What I’m nervous about

Moving in general. It’s the worst. Every time — “Never again.”

Selling our home. On all the levels.

It wasn’t our choice to move in 2016. We weren’t looking to buy. But life lifed and we traded in a rented converted toy factory for an owned converted piano factory and while I’ll always be sad we had to leave Roscoe Village, Wicker Park has been good to us. Both our actual home and the neighborhood. Our wee warm, character-filled, comfy urban oasis.

This was our first home, both in that we bought it and in that we bought it together. Best Friend moved into the Toy Factory where I had been for four years. While we made it our home, there’s something about going through the search and move-in process that if one of you doesn’t partake, do you even live here, man? As opposed to this place — we couldn’t have been more in it together.

Our interest rate when we bought was 4%. Then we refinanced to 2.75%. Then to 2%. To walk away from that rate these days… oof. This is why so many folks are uttering the words “Our starter home has become our forever home.” And yet we’re willingly waving goodbye.

Hopefully.

Will we get an offer? For the price we want? Multiple offers? Will there be negotiations? What will the inspector find? Where will we stand firm? Where will we bend? Will being a part of an HOA be the death of us and of our dreams? Will all of the upfront costs be worth it? You remember the light fixtures, light switches, showerhead, vent grates, toilet seat, painted walls, white oak floors, stainless steel sink, quartz counter and backsplash, and on and on and on? Our bank accounts do. Will all the “selling your home” costs, many of which we are in complete dark about, be worth it? Will we regret selling? In general? This place in particular?

I do not engage in What if?

Except apparently when attempting to sell a home. WHAT IF?!?!?

When we were on the other side of the process nine years ago, we heartbreakingly lost out to two last minute cash buyers and had to beat out two other offers to the tune of $20,000 over asking price.

Will this be another rollercoaster? Will we lose but also win? Could we just win?

We are planners. The fact that we have zero clue what our next address will be and that we could be without a home as soon as a few weeks from now is mind-boggling. The fact that we’re not hive’y nor concerned about this fact is mind-boggling.

I pride myself on my Life of Yes℠ Radius and have spent years crafting the perfect five to fifteen minute walk territory. Not only will I have to start over with a gym, doctor, dentist, optometrist, mechanic, bank, it’ll be a challenge to replicate the proximity.

Especially with the political climate being what it is, I’m hella nervous about leaving my blue bubble. I’ve lived in Evanston, Boston, and Chicago, the deepest blue of the blues. I know how good I have it with Governor Pritzker, BLM-Science is real-Love is love yard signs, women’s rights, trans rights, LGTBQ rights, immigrant rights. It’s rare to find a Trump supporter ‘round here. Many of the places we’re considering moving are, uh, not my cup of poli-tea.

Besides being a liberal girlie, I’m a big city girlie. A walkability girlie. A public transit girlie. A Trader Joe’s girlie. A flat terrain girlie. A direct flight to anywhere in the world girlie. Many of the places we’re considering are zero of these.

I’m nervous about heat. Humidity. Animal-animals — mosquitoes; snakes; bears…

Walking down a driveway to get the mail! Putting trash out for pickup! Stuff from the movies! That can’t be real! But it may be, like, soon!

Not being able to get sushi at 1AM. Do I eat sushi? No. Do I go out after dark? No. But does not being able to get 1AM sushi terrify me? Yes.

What I’m excited about

Leaving behind big city traffic, property taxes, noise, close proximity neighbors, housing prices.

I’ve never lived in a single-family home. While I don’t know if that’s how this journey will pan out, I’m hopeful. I’ve shared how abnormal I felt growing up; living in an apartment was the crux of the abnormality, the thing I most wanted to magic-wand away. The thing that would take away my sad.

I dream of a mudroom, a garage, non-shared walls, more Saya Space, more Best Friend Space, my own yard.

I adored discovering a new area of the country as a Boston College undergrad. The Cape for getaways and camp counselor’ness. Kittery, Maine for outlet shopping. Providence, Rhode Island for (non-me) tattoos and belly button piercings. NYC for Blue Man Group and RENT. Connecticut for Dave Matthews. Vermont for an RA retreat. I can’t wait to explore another new area of the country as a middle-aged adult. To embark on short-distance road trips that don’t include Wisconsin, Michigan, or Indiana.

Though Chicago winters are nowhere near what they used to be — thanks climate change! — I won’t miss the cold, the snow, the slush, the dreariness, the puffy jackets, the November through May chill.

I’m excited to check off a box I’ve wanted to check off for years. Even if this chapter is half a page. Even if it’s not what we expected nor hoped for. Even if we return. None of that is tied to failure or regret.

Failure or regret would be dying with an unchecked box.

What I’ll miss

(Maybe… when you don’t know where you’re going, you don’t know if you’ll no longer have XYZ ).

The Central time zone.

Natural disaster-free zones.

Chicago newscasters. Not that I watch the news nor have an affinity for anyone specifically, but I find elsewhere newscasters so foreign.

Our beautiful “new” home. We’ve barely had time to bask in the gloriousness that is the pull-out pantry, the under cabinet lights, and the Bosch 800 dishwasher. The gloriousness of enduring months of an uprooted life in the name of custom walnut cabinets and floors we couldn’t walk on, and making scary “we have no clue what we’re doing” design decisions that turned out to be wonderful decisions.

Chicago. It’s one of the top cities in the world. The food. Skyline. Bike infrastructure. CTA. Cubbies. Evanston. Northwestern. University of Chicago. Alleys. Cleanliness. Flatness. The lake. The architecture. The grid system. The Obamas. The Obama Presidential Library. How we “stop” at stop signs. Chicagoans.

Running into familiar faces.

The familiar faces. I take for granted we can see ______ and _______ and ________ whenever we want.

I’ll miss so much more than above, ones I can pinpoint and ones I’m sure I’m not even cognizant of yet. But I’m not here to dwell or sad, nor do I have time to dwell or sad. Mama needs a roof over her head…

Next chapter

I’m ready for a change.

Life is good. Few complaints. But life isn’t intoxicating. Which for my homebody self who prefers early dinner, early bedtime, and ottomans and toe separators, you’d think that’d be ok. But I want middle-aged intoxication. To explore new grocery stores. To small talk with new baristas. To discover new walk routes and driving shortcuts.

Professionally, Best Friend’s keeping his 9 to 5. He’s been work from home since the pandemic so he’ll just continue that but with a different home. Shout out to employers who’ve realized employees don’t have to be in office to be effective and in fact are often better employees out of office.

Me? You know I’m always the “Well…” answer.

I’ve been laying the location-independent groundwork. Chicago’ness is no longer pivotal to my business. Minglers, Lighthouse Squad, Fear Experiment℠, Camp — all happily retired. And easily replicated elsewhere, if wanted. My Chicago cleaning crew will still sparkle and shine, with me pulling the behind the scenes strings. I’ll still consult, teach, speak, and facilitate, virtually and, wherever I’m brought, in-person. My Life of Yes℠ community is thriving, online. My consulting is thriving, online. My teaching is thriving, online. My store is thriving, online. My speaking and facilitation is thriving, face to face and on screen. One can write a NYT best-selling memoir anywhere; one might even say a change of scenery is good for finally attaining a long-held dream.

Personally, I’m not worried about meeting nor connecting with people. Have you met us?

So, where to? … We’d like to know too.

Feel free to sway us with talk of whatever and wherever you think will sway us. That’s what’s so exciting in this Who knows? adventure. Who knows?!

I’ve never been so appreciative of not being tied down with kids and pets and (insert other things that make spontaneity and leaps difficult).

We have questions

Any recommendations for _________ that’ll help us with this life transition? Movers. Resources (websites; people to follow; Reddit threads…). Places to live.

Any tips you think’ll help us with this life transition? Especially if you’ve done an out of state move before as a grown-ass adult. Especially if you’ve left behind the land of the free and inclusivity for the land of gun rights. Especially if humidity and critters scare you yet you’re surrounded by humidity and critters.

Navigating adulting — the DMV; healthcare; finding community; taxes; insurance; driving; weird state laws like not being able to buy cars on Sundays or alcohol in grocery stores…

Most importantly — how do you move your “too big for the car” plant babies when most movers won’t move plants?

Anything to add to our Chicago Bucket List? Before we leave Chicago, we’re doing a combination New & Nostalgia Tour — things we’ve never done and places we’ve never been alongside things we have to do and places we have to go one more time.

Eats. Drinks. Entertainment. Neighborhoods. Areas. Activities. Off the beaten path’ness. Tourist’ness. “I can’t believe you lived in Chicago and never ______” ‘ness.

We’ll be here till July Something, probably.

Do you want to take advantage of “in-person sans travel fees” us one last time? Speaking at your conference or facilitating at your work retreat? Cleaning your home? (By me specifically; the cleaning crew will continue to beautify Chicago). Customized-teaching you how to make cleaning your home easy and fun so you can sparkle & shine yourself?

If you’ve done a big move, what tea can you spill?! Where to where? What was the move like? What’s your life been like post-move? Things you wish you had known? Surprises? Regrets? Things you did well? WAS IT A WONDERFUL DECISION THAT POSITIVELY IMPACTED YOUR LIFE AND YOU’RE SO GLAD YOU UPROOTED AND REPLANTED AND IT ALL WORKED OUT EVEN WITH ALL THE UNKNOWNS AND SCARINESS ?!

An update!

Since penning above, we put our home on the market!

Eep! Our first time selling.

Stuff in storage. Staging. Professional photos. The most impassioned cleaning I have ever cleaned. You think I scrubbed grout and shined stainless steel before? There’s nothing like the dangling of the next chapter of your life on whether your baseboards are dusty and your shower head is crusty.

Four days of showings. We had to vacate to Cheeba Hut, Foxtrot, and the gym until we got the all clear signal from our realtors that we could return. I don’t know how people with kids and pets, or people who are on the market for weeks or months, do it. I love to clean and I quickly came to despise having to do it every day. Being “showing-ready” sucks.

Luckily, though in the moment it felt IS THIS EVER GOING TO END?!, the end came swiftly.

We got six offers in seven days, before our “best and final” deadline. Getting those “Offer #1” “Offer #3” “Offer #5” emails was one of the most exhilarating experiences I’ve ever had. It greatly helped that the first hand-raise was a very strong offer allowing the calming “If nothing else comes through, it’ll be ok…” mindset. And then when the second offer came through, that allowed us to claim multiple offers, which makes folks up the ante. And ante they did.

We got multiple over asking-price offers and went with the third “best,” financially. There are so many qualities beyond money that make an offer enticing and we chose the one that was a price we liked along with other carrots we liked. Not having to deal with financing. A buyer willing to take the home “As is” nor have any appraisal issue. An escalation clause. Earnest earnest money. An agreeable closing date. Us being able to live mortgage and rent-free in our own home for a couple of months. Compliments on your Dyson dock and overall home esthetic and upkeep.

Both parties agreed and we went contingent.

Then inspection, attorney review, and the appraisal. Back and forths. More back and forths. More back and forths. So many people involved. So emotionally taxing. So many inbox refreshes. So much hatred of living in an HOA (never again; I almost started up my own property management company during the experience due to the experience). Finally, after three weeks, questions are answered, documents procured, and balance of the earnest money deposited, and we can begin to turn the wheels on next’ness.

Planning our final Chicago days.

Selecting our next home.

Letting reality sink in.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again — hands down, if you’re buying or selling, assembling a dream team is the best thing you can do. Realtor. Real Estate Attorney (learned this is state by state; you may not need one). Handyperson. Stager. Mortgage broker. Inspector. Insurance agent. As always, our recommendations on my Service Provider Referral List on my page of lists.

Another update!

We have a place to live! We have an address!

We looked at various states. We settled on North Carolina.

We got engaged in Asheville. He’s a Southern boy (Louisiana). I’m a Yankee ready to live elsewhere and a very different elsewhere. North Carolina fits, among other desires, our climate, nature, and housing cost desires.

We looked at Asheville, Raleigh Durham, Winston-Salem, tiny NC towns you’ve never heard of. We submitted applications for homes in Asheville, Raleigh Durham, Winston-Salem, tiny NC towns you’ve never heard of.

Again, mind-boggling that one hour we’re living in Place A we’ve never been to and the next hour, in Place B we’ve never been to, three hours from Place A. Such a huge life decision! That we’re shrugging our shoulders at and being whatever about. Not whatever in not putting in the work but whatever in a mentality of “Wherever we land, what an adventure!”

We made a table. We scoured Reddit, joined Facebook groups, and made customized maps. We looked up Trader Joe’s and Costco locations. Tip: if neighborhoods where Trader Joe’s are located are usually your vibe like they are for us, let TJ’s be your realtor — find their locations and help those narrow down neighborhoods. We “walked” block after block via Street View (one of my favorite tools when home-hunting).

Our first application was rejected (lots of interest; people who could move in earlier…). We didn’t take it personally. But we kinda did.

We have 800+ credit scores! We don’t have pets or kids! We don’t smoke! We’re employed! We Roth IRA! We’re boring middle aged people who like podcasts, spreadsheets, and Dysons! The rejection was a reality-slap.

Every listing had five, ten, twenty other applications. We were up against in-town folks. Folks actually familiar with the areas. Renting from afar is not for the weak. Three postings turned out to be scams; thank god for spidey-sense and listening to said sense. There was nothing we liked. If there was, there were asterisks. We tiny-panicked.

But then, tides turned, and I had trouble not only ranking which homes I liked the best, but which homes of the ones who wanted us I liked the best. Just like our experience with the Offer #1, Offer #3, Offer #6 emails, we were being courted, we had options, and it was the best feeling.

Discussion. Research. Weighing this and that. More discussion.

We liked Winston-Salem and Durham best, for a variety of reasons, a primary one being college. We’re college campus nerds in general (check out the 100+ ones we’ve visited!); the energy, the resources, the people they attract, the activities. I loved growing up with Northwestern in my backyard and am a fiend for a gothic, Harry Potter-eqsue, New England-esque snooty school. Plus, we feel we’ll find more of, uh, our kind in the shadows of academia. The lure of Wake Forest and Duke lured.

Finally, a decision…

We’ll be renting an adorable three bed two bath Craftsman house in Winston-Salem, in one of the most walkable areas in the area. Eight minutes to Trader Joe’s. Twelve minutes to Wake Forest.

We’ll be using this next year? to see if we like the state and to see if we like the various cities. If yes and yes, we’ll buy? Lots of question marks. Which is exhilarating.

We still wanna hear where we should live, even if it’s not where we’ll be living next. Even if it’s not in North Carolina. Ya never know… Edinburgh and Porto and Vancouver were the loveliest.

Question additions —

Any experiences with Atlas, Allied, or Northern Advantage movers?

North Carolina adulting referrals? Gym. Dentist. Doctor. Mechanic. Handyperson. Realtor. Community. Even if they’re not in my new Life of Yes℠ radius. We’ll take them all.

Sleeping option for a room that’ll be 90% office and 10% guest room, in terms of time usage? A bed takes up so much space and most futons, sofabeds, non-bed alternatives make you question humanity.

Inspiration & Community & Role Model Shout Outs

Shout out to everyone who’s made a move-move in recent years and who share their experiences, the ups and the downs.

Carlyn selling perhaps the cutest house in the cutest Chicago neighborhood and moving to Where?!, Michigan, to immerse herself in hiking, cross country skiing, and local theater acting.

Rachel surrounding herself with cats, trees, and Taylor Swift songs while continuing her once Chicago-based business outside of Chicago.

Hillary fulfilling a lifelong dream of being an innkeeper and trading in a Chicago condo and corporate job for a Michigan bed & breakfast.

Chloe fulfilling a lifelong dream of moving Chicago to San Diego despite how impractical, expensive, and risky it was (her words). Oh and teaching over 11,000 students how to money better and netting over a million in revenue since quitting 9 to 5 to do her own thing, back in 2021. Bonus: finding her lobster whom she just moved in with.

Becka for possibly being the most different person from me on earth yet also the most samesies, and who’s an all-star at documenting her family’s adventures including my fave, all things housing, from moving to reno. They bought what they thought was their dream home and when it turned out to very much not be, they sold it, lived in an RV for a year to save up for their next home, and after oodles of emotional stops and starts, found their dream home where she’s now crafting her perfect for her life (in a way that’s exactly how I would do it and exactly how I wouldn’t do it ; which is why I find her so fascinating and refreshing). Her income is related to stormchasing, makeup, and nursing… LOL. Exactly me but exactly not me.

Kory (& Kory’s Best Friend, but I kinda like keeping this a Girls List ) trading in her (burned out) corporate chief of staff hat for a professional house hacker and out of state real estate investor hat. Aiming to retire by 40, she now has a real estate investment portfolio of ten+ properties and provides housing in five markets. Oh and, moving Chicago to Asheville.

Meg selling her Chicago condo and most of her possessions and being a four+ years nomad, from Montana to Austria, Spain to Alabama, North Carolina to Denver, all while being the most Type A being (kettle, black!) yet beautifully willing to be a voice, a contrarian, a breath of fresh air in an industry — insurance — that’s not exactly break the mold’esque. She’s currently on a podcast tour, bouncing from adorable bookstore to adorable plant store, empowering women and giving women a safe space, countrywide! Bonus: finding her lobster who can co-travel the universe with her.

Gosh, I’m surrounded by fierce, intelligent, go get ’em women…

Whenever I palpitate or feel myself drifting towards What if?, I remember these girlies living their best lives. Living out loud. With intention. Purpose. Authenticity. Transparency. Sharey’ness.

Those who share themselves are my faves. You impact and motivate and inspire and hug. You make risk worth it. You make trying sexy. You make failure ok. Cause we know it’s not failure.

If you’re dipping that toe, you’re never failing. You’re living.

Shout out to everyone who’s had a hand in creating this magical run of mine in this city as far as community goes.

Personally. Professionally. Persessionally as y’all who take my Life of Yes℠ teachings know I like to call it. Truly, you are what’s made my 25 years the fulfilling, joyful day in and day out they’ve been. I wouldn’t be where I am without your willingness to say yes and your support.

And it squeeees me beyond anything I could ever describe to know that I’m leaving behind people who found friends, spouses, children, collaborators, jobs, experiences, and happy because of a Saya Meddling.

Thank you.

The fact that a lowest moment of my life — getting fired — quickly turned into the best thing to ever happen to me — Mac & Cheese Productions℠ — is cause of y’all. [insert teary eyes]

Not having a boss, a commute, meetings that could’ve been an email, to wear pants for twenty years?! Not being a millionaire but being able to afford a Whole Foods hot bar, Spotify Premium, and a First Class splurge? Not letting the $300 in savings or lack of an MBA or no general clue what I was doing stop me from believing I could? Cobbling together, without hesitation, “don’t make sense together” income streams? Turning “I got fired” shame into “I got fired!” celebration? Having spent $0 on marketing and being 100% word of mouth since Day 1? Finding my lobster, in my own living room no less? Cause of y’all.

Heartwarming. Pinch me. Priceless.

Shout out to Mom who was a living example of doing life your way even if your way is weird and the reason I have such unwavering belief in myself. I’m sad you’re not here for this but I unequivocally know you’d be cheering us on and ready to come consult on our yard.

Whenever I palpitate or feel myself drifting towards What if?, I remind myself that What if? doesn’t auto-equate disaster — what if this is the best chapter of our lives?

Photos

From nine years ago…

Where we moved from —

The listing pics from when we bought —

To today

Reno (Storage move #1) to Staging Prep (Storage move #2)

Our listing photos…