I realized recently that my Facebook feed hadn’t had any updates from a few people who seem to update their status’ regularly. Curious as to why, I did a little poking around and discovered, gasp!, that I was no longer friends with them. I hadn’t defriended them which meant they had, gasp!, defriended me.
Out of curiosity’s sake, I’m very tempted to message them and ask why. Of the ones I can identify, I can’t recall there being an incident between us that would result in such an action, like me stealing a boyfriend or ditching his/her wedding in favor of a flip-cup tournament at Barleycorn. One is the ex-girlfriend of a guy friend who I think friended me initially to find out if he and I were romantically involved. One is the friend of a guy with whom I had a tumultuous “are we dating, are we not dating” ride, with whom I no longer interact. One is the friend of a friend, a gay guy I met at a party who immediately fell in friend-love with me; he penned emails about how fun I was and how he wanted me to join the Board of a non-profit he was involved in due to my passion and skills, he invited me to group outings and parties, he initiated plans between just the two of us. And then, nothing. No contact for months. And now I’ve come to discover I’m no longer his FB friend.
Why do you defriend someone on Facebook?
Reasons I’ve defriended people:
- I don’t know you or barely know you, and accidentally accepted your friend request
- I thought the better of the “accept friend request,” usually for professional reasons; there are some people I don’t want privy to my non-PC rants or to certain pictures of me rolling around the grassy fields of Amsterdam
I haven’t defriended anyone because I’m no longer friends with or dating him/her, but I could see those as viable reasons as well. There are people whom I haven’t defriended but I have limited the amount I see them in my feed, usually because of their annoying Mafia Wars or Farmville posts, or their all too frequent boring updates like “Boo” or “Tired today.”
Which leads me to wonder –
1. Have I unknowingly pissed people off in the past year? People who decided the best course of payback was to cut me off via a social network rather than confront me?
2. Am I a person you like at first but grow to hate?
3. Am I an annoying Facebooker? Too boring, too frequent, too narcissistic?