My ‘I don’t have but I would like’ list is ever-growing, which I choose to view as a good thing

I would like a brand new Subaru Outback. With all the frickin’ add-ons. Bike rack, moon roof, organic gluten-free seat warmers.

I’d like a lake house. And a Hawaii house. And an Amsterdam house.

I’d like to open a coffeehouse-bar, stuffed with board games and mismatched couches, staffed with friends.

I’d like Whole Foods salad bar for lunch, daily.

I’d like to buy a 12-unit building and be the property manager of a Cheese-It community.

I’d like to fly business class every time I fly.

I’d like to go to U of C for business school, but not for grades and without having to apply or pay and without being required to do math.

I’d like to attend conferences and retreats and workshops all over the world.

I’d like a personal chef, personal trainer, personal masseuse, and personal hand-slapper when I reach for that bag of cookies.

I’d like to go out to dinner with a large group of friends and when the check comes say with a wave of a hand, “I’ve got it.”

I’d like to own a retreat compound, where people who can afford it pay large amounts of money to be campers and retreaters and people who can’t afford it benefit from the generosity of others and get to play, reflect, and get away like everyone else. Also, an inner-city kids camp, free of charge for the campers, where the counselors pay their way and the way of one camper.

I’d like to stay at Four Seasons-esque hotels not as a splurge every few years but as a doable regular treat for myself.

I’d like Husband to quit 9 to 5 and entrepreneur all over the world with me, but for him to do so in a way that causes him no stress or worry. Self-funding health insurance, not having a paycheck, being responsible for one’s own time, self-discipline … that (understandably) causes stress.

I’d like to do nothing for three, six, nine months but write my book.

I’d like to take my entire family on vacation (mine and Hubs’) and pay for everything.

As a small business owner, who never knows where the next ‘paycheck’ is coming from, who frets that people won’t sign up for _____ causing great financial and mental stress, who has signed contracts to says I owe people lots of future money, attaining my likes is not always commonsensical or possible.

So sometimes I think it’d just be easier to go back to 9 to 5. Where they fund professional development. Where they direct deposit money into your bank every two weeks. Where holiday parties, bonuses, and paid vacation are actual things.

But then you get a wedding invite that directs you to a wedding website —
And you think, it’s worth it. Times a zillion.

I’ll probably get some of my “I would like” items and never come close to others.

But it sure is fun and rewarding to reach…