Worst combination ever

2:34AM: I’m woken up by a high-pitched female voice screeching, “Battery is low.  Battery is low.” from the smoke detector and a smarmy televangelist, er, radiovangelist preaching about Jesus (who put my radio on a religious station?).  Going to the bathroom takes precedence over turning off this horrid combination, so I sit on the freezing toilet, hands over ears.