I hate you in a petty-kind of way

The Scarlett Johannson/Pete Yorn song “Realtor” has been on repeat for the last twenty-four hours.  Love it.  Hate her.  If you can act, you shouldn’t be able to sing.  If you can sing, you shouldn’t be pretty.  If you’re pretty, you shouldn’t be able to do anything else but be pretty.  Scarlett can do all those things.  Sending petty-hate her way.  If she had been playing the guitar and/or doing improv in the video, man, then I’d really really hate her.

I should probably replace “hate” with “envy” in the preceding paragraph.